Good Looks Ain't Good Enough

An open letter to my privileged officemate who recently got on my nerves.

Hey, dude. Or should I say, "sup, bro?" 'cause in your own little world where money is nothing, that's how you say it. Remember the first employee engagement you were asked to join? I was supposed to be there but earlier that day, I asked my seniors who you are and immediately searched for you on Lync. I was shocked, alright. And hurt.

You have a nice name, really. And a nice title comes with it. Wow, dude, you just got in and you're already a step ahead from me. Wow. It read "Senior Associate." Wow. Just wow. It would've hurt less if I don't care however, I also learned that you just graduated college. Wow! Yay for you! And nay for my ego.

I came back to work after 5 days. The origins were on leave and so am I however, I had to come back that Thursday because fuck my life. I got on my station and my seat wasn't there. Apparently, you took it, so I came up to you and boy, oh boy. I was smittened with your boy-next-door aura and how cute you speak. You were nice. You brought my seat back for me. We learned you were well-off and you thought your salary is not enough when it was way pricier than mine. I admit, I had a crush on you. Until the going gets tough.

You were given to me for training. We talked a lot and I learned you're willing to submit to corruption. You failed an exam twice and was looking for someone whom you could pay to so he'll pass you. Things were redundant 'cause you won't write notes. I was never hard on you, in fact, I brought my nicest facade for you. I swear you abused me. People thought otherwise. It came to a point where we had to throw you out of my group. And you appear to be the victim.

You tainted my image. People sort of turned their backs on me. I was on the verge of giving up. Life went on for me. But it was never the same and never easy.

You hit strike 2 yesterday. I cried out of anger and frustration. You should know the process or at least have an idea of it after all, they gave you your position because of your course. I asked you to be considerate of me and you said you aren't considerate. Well, fuck you. This time I won't let you. You've just been exposed to our leader that you're just playing the victim card. You have been playing with us for so long I think it's about time to reveal who you really are. And nope, I won't change my personality for you. How about you change your work ethics so no one gets enraged, right?

You, sir, are an entitled rich kid. I hope you learned your lesson that the world does not revolve around you. 

And if you don't, well, let me slap with you the truth and a keyboard-- THIS PLACE IS NOT FOR YOU. Oh, and while you're at it, act your age. You're 24 and I'm 21 and who's stronger? Definitely, not you.

One more thing. Equate your attitude with how you look. I am an addition to everyone telling you that you are just a face.

Love, your bitch of an officemate,

J 

Invalidating Struggles

How sad it is to live in a world where all your ex-schoolmates-slash-colleagues are well-off. Not only because I don't belong to their social class, but also because I see them not having to struggle in terms of reaching their ambitions. The major steal is that they have someone to give them their wants and needs in an instant.

Also, did I mention that they never have to think about money?

I am currently 21 but I feel 35. Having to pay for your sister's tuition, bills, et al., is no joke given the fact that you have just started working and your earnings won't suffice yet.

Am I jealous? Maybe. Am I sad? HECK YEAH.

The hustle is difficult. It feels like I'm forced to mature at this age where some people my age don't even have responsibilities yet.

And here I am. Trying and trying but never enough. But I'm still grinding. And I hope I don't get weary.

Sundays Currently II

This Sunday, I am currently...


READING

On Buzzfeed stuff about Kylie Jenner. I came across this article about her lip kits and then I started clicking from one article to another. Now I am browsing through articles under the Kardashian tag. Heeeeeelllppppp! This isn't meeeeee~


WRITING

About how sucky my Sunday is. Truly.


LISTENING

To The Cab's La La!!! I suddenly start listening to their Symphony Soldier album again and it took me back to 2012 in an instant. I. AM. FUCKING. SMITTEN. RIGHT NOW.


THINKING

If I chose the right nail polish color. I picked royal blue in a heartbeat and I think I like it... although it's not summer-y... You know me, always wanting to be in sync with the theme.


SMELLING

The amorous smell of Monday. *sarcastic tone* Seriously though, I still feel like I'm a college student, waiting for my summer break. *insert the saddest emoji here* Wake up, girl! You're a college graduate now!


WISHING

That I'd be able to have a vacation! I wanna be taken to the beach or somewhere where I can dip my little bum into. 31 degrees is no joke here in the tropics and the heat is becoming unbearable now. Also, I want to get away from work!


HOPING

FOR A VACATION. Yep, that's how I badly want a break.


WEARING

My home outfit or in my vernacular, a pambahay. Comfy af, yo! Nor harm in looking like a bum when you're acting fab everyday.


LOVING

Starbuck's S'mores!!! I love how the melted mallows' so soft and sticky and gooey! Uuuuggghhhh, I'd buy more if not for my sore throat. And the price.


WANTING

To buy a cute rash guard which I'd like to use for our upcoming swimming trips. No to roasted skin! Although I'd love to wear cute outfits too (who doesn't?) I'd rather not regret later. My skin's too uneven for it to be more uneven than ever!


NEEDING

To shop!!! I'm running out of clothes to wear to the office. You know how much I hate repeating clothes, of course. Fine, I do repeat but I don't wear the same thing for 2 weeks, I mean, of course they'd notice. And though I do, I style it differently so it looks different.


FEELING

Lazy. Take it from me, guys. When your everyday needs to be productive, you'd just want to feel lazy sometimes. AND I'M NOT EVEN SORRY!

Outta Work

My relationship with change is like that of Blair and Chuck's-- a love-hate one. Sure, I love spontaneity, but impulsive change? It freaks me out. I may or may not be conventional but I know one thing; that I contemplate a lot about change but I always end up doing the usual. I. AM. SCARED. LIKE. THAT. And I don't know why when everyone's been telling me that I'm a strong biznatch who can take care of herself. I take that as a compliment...though I'm not sure about it now, now that I came up with this realization.

Speaking of change, I hope you noticed my new theme! Not-so new though because I retained the old template, hehe, but yes! New graphics. I honestly had no plans of revamping this thing until I saw that Photoshop CS5 is downloaded here! And I'm on a leave. Yes, guys, I'M ON A LEAVE! This seldom happens because my job's toxic as heck and I can't take a leave often. I know, I know, I haven't kept you posted about my job but I might, soon! It's almost been a year since I got employed and you can tell that one of the many reasons why I'm not Blogspot active anymore is because of it. Guuuuyyysss. I wish I could write from time to time, really, but aside from the fact that my creative juice storage is as drained as Antipolo's Hinulugang Taktak... HA! Now that's a comparison. Anyway, aside from the fact that my creative juice storage is drained, I am now a busy career woman taking in one responsibility from another. Don't worry, I have taken in strength as well so I could handle this.

This is random though. Hopefully I could craft another that's worth reading. I haven't made one since time in memorial but we'll see.