Friday, July 24, 2020

A Look into Lover

I wonder what comes into people's minds when they hear Taylor Swift. As a die hard fan who's vocal that her life revolved around her music (and her life), people never fail to identify me as "the swiftie" in the bunch-- It must be how I overshare posts about her on my personal accounts or how I'd get giddy everytime she's the topic, but for some reason, there will always be a way that I get to share to everyone about how big of a fan I am. And I'm proud, just so you know. My relationship with her is the longest I've had, Ralph can't even compete.

Almost a year ago, Lover came out. It is my favorite so far and I knew it even before it was released. I was so stoked that I'll tell my friends "N days left and there won't be 'Lover'-less days anymore!" every time I had the chance. I mean, hello, every Swiftie knows that Taylor releases new music every two years and it’s that time again. Also, you know how crazy fandoms can get when it’s album launch time... Damn crazy.

As I see it, Lover is a reminiscent of Fearless and Speak Now mixed with a whole lot of 1989. I love it, really. From the aesthetic down to the tracklist-- Lover, for me, is perfect. I had really strong feelings about it that I made a mini review based on the first few streams that I did. Now, my question, do I still feel the same about this?

We'll find out.

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Ahhhh, I Forgot That You Existed. To be honest, I skip this a lot. I don't know, maybe it's not just my jam but still, I think it's a bop and I really enjoy listening to it on days that I actually include it in my playlist. Also, I stand by what I said-- IT IS A VERY FITTING OPENING FOR THE ALBUM.

Favorite Lyrics:
I forgot that you existed
I did, I did, I did
It isn't hate, it's just indifference
It isn't love, it isn't hate
It's just indifference

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CRUEL SUMMER. IS. THAT BITCH. Almost a year later, this is still the number 1 song in my On Repeat playlist! I am so inlove with this song that I would always tweet about it to the point that people started listening to it too. I mean, I can't blame them, the Cruel Summer bug is real-- catchy tune + great lyrics-- ladies and gents, we have here a pop masterpiece. Thank you, Taylor Swift, for giving this to us.

Favorite Lyrics:
Said, "I'm fine", but it wasn't true
I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you
And I, snuck in through the garden gate
Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)
And I screamed, "For whatever it's worth"
"I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

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Fight me on this one but Lover is one of the best love songs a singer has released in recent times. If you still disagree, do me a favor and watch live performances of this song. Trust me, you won't regret it. This is a great song made even better when sung live.

Favorite Lyrics:
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?
With every guitar string scar on my hand
I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover
My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue
All's well that ends well to end up with you
Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

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I still love The Man! Although it didn't get the attention it deserves, at least we have something great to refer to every time we need a song that entails women empowerment. Also, an equally good acoustic version of this was performed live in London during the City of Lover concert!

Favorite Lyrics:
If I was out flashin' my dollars
I'd be a bitch, not a baller
They'd paint me out to be bad
So it's okay that I'm mad

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I am actually in a love-hate relationship with The Archer. I'd skip it, yes, but not its live versions. Meh. Still one of my least favorite, I'm so sorry.

Favorite Lyrics:
I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost
The room is on fire, invisible smoke
And all of my heroes die all alone
Help me hold onto you

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I'm apologize, I Think He Knows, for thinking that you are a skip. YOU ARE NOT A SKIP. It's just that you are an acquired taste. LOL. Kidding aside, this is one of those fun songs that you dig deep and realize that oh, it's actually a naughty flirty song hidden behind a really good pop tune. Genius.

Favorite Lyrics:
Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh
We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

So where we gonna go?
I whisper in the dark
Where we gonna go?
I think he knows

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Yep, Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince is up there on top. Aaaannnndddd, almost a year later, I still don't have much to say. Sure, it's a good song, but not really the kind I'd listen to again and again. I won't skip it but I won't look for it either. But it's still good.

Favorite Lyrics:
My team is losing
Battered and bruising
I see the high fives
Between the bad guys
Leave with my head hung
You are the only one
Who seems to care

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Everytime Paper Rings would play, Amanda Bynes' What A Girl Wants poster would come into my mind. I don't know, for me it has that vibe-- carefree, fun, and chic. I still love this song. Though I've seen stans on Twitter saying that it doesn't fit the album 'cause apparently, it's too "childish", I think its peculiarity is what makes it stand out especially on the first few times you'll listen to the album. Although yes, I agree that amidst being a cute bop, listening to it again and again will make you grow tired of the song. Still, you'll love when it randomly pops up on your playlist that you won't be able to resist its charm.

Favorite Lyrics:
I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings
Uh huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this
Uh huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want, and
Paper rings and picture frames and all my dreams
You're the one I want, and
Paper rings and picture frames and all my dreams
Oh, you're the one I want

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Cornelia Street really is god-tier. Have you heard the live version of this song? Man, it was so good that there's not a day that I didn't listen to it when they made it available on Spotify. I'm actually really speechless right now but I stand by what I said. It's a classic and this is one of my top favorite songs of all time.

Favorite Lyrics:
Barefoot in the kitchen
Sacred new beginnings
That became my religion, listen

I hope I never lose you
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
Oh, never again

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Ok, I was right about this not being a single but it's one of the few, lucky ones that has been performed live and has a really good acoustic version. Also, Death by a Thousand Cuts is a grower! A few listens and realizations here and there made me love this even more. I also watched Someone Great, the film where Tay drew inspo from and I loved it just as much.

Favorite Lyrics:
My heart, my hips, my body, my love
Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch
Gave up on me like I was a bad drug
Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club
Our songs, our films, united, we stand
Our country, guess it was a lawless land
Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand
Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans
My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust
Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up
Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough
But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

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I still find London Boy cute but I grew quite tired of it. Well, except the rap part, but still.

Favorite Lyrics:
Show me a gray sky, a rainy cab ride
Babe, don't threaten me with a good time
They say home is where the heart is
But God, I love the English

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This is prolly the most emotional song in the album and we all know why. Soon You'll Get Better still affects me one year later and I still think it's hauntingly good.

Favorite Lyrics:
Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too

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Aaaaaand, False God, it's almost your time. Lol, I kid you not. I don't listen to this quite often but I've grown to appreciate it more.

Favorite Lyrics:
I know heaven's a thing
I go there when you touch me, honey
Hell is when I fight with you
But we can patch it up good
Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness
Got the wine for you

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Same feels for You Need To Calm Down. Next!

Favorite Lyrics:
Say it in the street, that's a knock-out
But you say it in a Tweet, that's a cop-out

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Still on top, one year later. There's just something with Afterglow that makes it beautiful-- the remorse within the lyrics, the sound, I really don't know. To be honest, though, it's just in the middle of my list because I don't think I felt anything when I heard it the first time. It's part of the criteria, okay!

Favorite Lyrics:
It's so excruciating to see you low
Just wanna lift you up and not let you go
This ultraviolet morning light below
Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh

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Lol, what was I saying? I like ME! but I think I over exaggerated it that time. I grew tired of the song a year later but I'm still not skipping it because I think it's a nice song to dance to.

Favorite Lyrics:
I know I tend to make it about me
I know you never get just what you see
But I will never bore you, baby

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Ok, so, It's Nice to Have a Friend is a good song but guess what? I STILL CAN'T MEMORIZE THE LYRICS ALMOST A YEAR LATER. I'd listen to it from time to time but yeah. I hope it finds its way to my heart.

Favorite Lyrics:
Church bells ring, carry me home
Rice on the ground looks like snow
Call my bluff, call you "babe"
Have my back, yeah, everyday
Feels like home, stay in bed
The whole weekend
It's nice to have a friend

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If you're looking for a song that tackles contentment and finally being happy, this is it. Guess it's safe to say that Daylight is on my top 3 favorites on the album. C'mon, what's not to like? Aside from being a lyrical masterpiece, its sound would make you want to listen to it. Also, it is actually parallel to Red, another of Tay's masterpiece, and their contrasts made this song even more sensible. There was also a damn good mash-up of them in the City of Lover! Listen to it if you want a good cry.

Favorite Lyrics:
I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
(I can never look away)
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you
(Things will never be the same)
I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night
(Now I'm wide awake)
And now I see daylight (I see daylight)
I only see daylight (oh)

Unknowingly, it's the Lover era's last day because out of nowhere, Taylor caught us off guard and announced that she'll release a new album today! As much as we are stoked, I know in my heart that I'm still not ready to get over Lover’s greatness. But what better way to celebrate it by posting and editing a rough draft that has been sleeping on my drafts for quite a long time now, yes? Yes!

Lover, you have my most favorite songs and prolly, the most feels I have for a song. You are one of the bests and you deserve a recognition. You are album of the year and I’m sorry that people failed to recognize that. You are probably Taylor's shortest era but you'll live long enough in the records to make an impact to everyone who listens to your greatness. Know that you’ll always hold a special place in my heart, so as the person I dedicate you to. It was a really good run and you deserve better. Thank you and I love you!

Friday, July 10, 2020

Dreaming of a Friday Night Out

My Fridays are always spontaneous. One day I'm out having drinks with the girls then the next, I am declining every invite because I want to curl up in bed.

However, due to this pandemic, it’s usually just the latter except, I don't have any invites to decline. Ok, maybe Zoom and Houseparty invites, but still... I am left with no choice because I'm still at home. Curled up in bed, probably.

I wonder why I feel indifferent doing catch-ups online-- I see you, yes, thanks to modern technology, but for me it’s not similar with meeting you in flesh. Sure it does the job but I still feel like something's missing... Or maybe I'm just too clingy?

Prior to this whole fiasco, Fridays would never not pump me up. Aside from being the last working day, it's the only day of the week that doesn't feel hectic and strenuous. For some reason, Fridays are always light-hearted-- like your typical rom-com movie that leaves you smitten after watching.

With some reservations, I can say that I still kinda look forward to Fridays. Work from home includes invasion of personal time and I’ve come to accept it just now. For a month, it brought me to a dark place. It made me high-functional because I tend to overthink things--I thought I can't fail, I knew I can't. And as long as this is considered as "normal", I don't think I can love it the same way because I know Saturdays are business as usual... And I need a break!

Now that it's been months since I last stepped outside, I found myself dreaming of a night out while being nostalgic about a lot of things. I'd rather not be at home now.

I long to be somewhere chill with my college clique. Chill because we‘re too loud and we don't want other people overpowering our energy. LOL. I'm still hungover from the night we had unlimited sangria at UCC two freakin' years ago. That was the night we talked endlessly about adulting and relationships; something we never did until then! But if there’s one thing I’m really after, it’s laughing boisterously at the jokes we make in between because as I’ve said, it's always a crazy good time with this witty bunch who’s always packed with ludicrous banters. GAHD, I MISS THESE GIRLS THE MOST.

I also miss wine nights with with my work buddies. I seldom join but all those times have etched a memoir in my mind that I think I miss Torch now when at some point in my life, I grew tired of their nachos and thought their salsa sucks. Our discussions would always vary in maturity but whatever it is, we tend to laugh it off after.

Ahhhh, Vertis! It has been one of my fave spots recently, thanks to its vicinity from where I work. Whether it be Mama Lou's, Scout's Honor, or BonChon, a good dinner and a nice catch up with one of my friends would hit a spot right in the tummy and in my clingy heart.

Would I dare leave a coffee shop out of this? Of course not! I miss having my usual at one of Starbuck's very lowkey branches (that I won't dare mention) and oh, my iced pure blended double chocolate from CBTL! Ohhhhh, to be able to slack off in a couch with a bff and talk about life in general. Just one of the few things we can’t do now without extra caution.

Man, I miss going out. And for the first time, my introvert ass approves.

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Lifetime

Do you think if you ask me one last time I would admit?
Because I was thinking,
Maybe if I did...
We could’ve been something.

We could’ve been lovers sitting side by side in a place only the two of us know;
Talking ‘bout anything and everything,
Basking in the sound of our hearts beating,
Watching you smile, and then melting...

Oh, you were a good dream
Vivid and surreal,
Enthralling, yet feigned,
Gone by morning.

Yet if serendipity hates me, then we will be bygones;
Strangers once again because things went erratic,
Awkward encounters minus the greetings,
Forced to go back to the life before I knew you...

Except, I don’t know life without you anymore.
To not interact with you everyday,
To feel you slowly drift away—
My worst nightmare, I dare say.

But this is the reality I chose when you asked and I did not answer--
A world with you in it, but you are never mine.
A world where you are happy, but not with me.
A lifetime where I wish that hopefully, you are wishing of me too.

Monday, June 22, 2020

Life Update

That no one asked for. Lol. I thought I should write this down since I'm growing older and my memory is starting to suck. Also, I've always loved looking back at my old writings from time to time and re-reading them makes me nostalgic. Soooo, forgive me.

First off, I'm back to work! The order came right on time because at that point, I already maxed my leaves which means I'm on the verge of a no-work-no-pay setup. I remember praying about how my bills are making me anxious and surprisingly, I got a text from my manager the next day! As grateful as I was, I didn't expect that I'll be rendering overtime for the first few weeks. Order skew quantity, allocation documents-- I haven't done any of those in three months and boy, I missed it. NOT.

But I'm here to tell you that despite being exhausted from work, I'm surprisingly happy? Question mark because I can't explain it either. Although, I figured, I think I love the feeling of being able to be of service to anyone. I don't know, but for some reason, it makes me feel validated. I'd be over the moon every time someone tells me I was able to help them even in the simplest form. Good god, I'm actually smitten just writing about it now.

In other news, I was able to see my boyfriend again! I actually have nothing to say about this because my feelings are over the place and I can't articulate it well but really, I'm generally happy. Face time won't do it for me, I'd still go for our usual hugs and lovey dovey stuff. Also, it's warmer when we're together!

From where I live, father's day is almost over. To be honest, I diligently read a lot of post and while some made me laugh and others made me cry, I tend to feel jelly overall. Not that I'm complaining that we're celebrating it, in fact, I think I liked almost every tribute on Facebook... but there will always be a gaping hole every time an occasion happens and of course, father's day is when it's hella evident. I don't know, it's been 5 fatherless years and I still miss him everyday. And I hope I make him proud.

Sigh, I needed an outlet. This should end here, I guess.