Devils Roll The Dice, Angels Roll Their Eyes

It’s 9:42 and I am on the floor with alcohol and feelings I don’t know the name of.

I am as dazed as I am certain that you feel it too. I may or may not be making things up but my gut tells me otherwise. I wish I am not making things up. I WOULD LOVE IT IF I WEREN’T. Except, I am not sober thinking about this at that moment.

The clock ticked 11:19 and I wait for you to make the first move. You didn’t, so I did.

And I hate that I did. I am sobering up and I’m still pondering about it. So I guess, joke’s on me cause intoxicated or not, the thought has already consumed me. Who am I kidding, though? I act like it just happened when in all honesty, it’s been like this for quite a few months already and I’ve been playing it cool since. I loved playing it stupid.

03:20 now with my slumber disturbed, I have no idea what to do. I’ve long concluded that this is errant but I could just pray to the lord to make this stop.

Or rather, make me stop. I know this is a spur of a moment kind of thing but it’s as if I almost wanted to delve in this illusion I did or did not make up. But I want to be proven wrong as much as this is wrong.

It’s 6:32 and I just woke up.

Still with feelings I don’t know the name of.

Hope You're Smitten

To my favorite inbox notif,
here i am greeting you a happy birthday,
wishing it'd be your favorite notif as well
out of the hundred greetings you'd prolly get.

Some sappy birthday message I made for a friend who wants to greet the girl he likes.

She doesn't deserve my quality writing tho.

Unemployment Hits

Just two days into unemployment and I already feel mediocre.

As an employed citizen who gets recognized a lot, I used to be so proud having all of this and that... But I guess I blew things up with my impulsiveness after letting my emotions reign.

Or maybe I didn’t. I wish I didn’t.

I’ve always wanted to rest but now that I’m finally taking my sought-after break, I feel bad that I wanted to in the first place. Without having to think of shipping instructions, cut-offs, and other relevant shit, my inner demons would rear their heads, not allowing me to enjoy this break by reminding me that I am not as good as I think I am. 

I am fighting it. I am trying. But more of trying. 

 People have been asking why I quit before having a replacement. I don’t know either. I just wanted to take a break from all the drama I encountered in the recent months. I wish I did, though, so as to rid my head of thoughts. But things won’t always go as planned and you have to stop being harsh on yourself. Or so they say.

;

Julio is no Juliet

For the sake of all things holy and sane, please like her. I am begging you. Please do.

I may sound pathetic but I wish you'd see how her eyes light up when you smile. You may see a boy-crazy tiny tot but I see a potential girlfriend who would love and care for you eternally, the one who can pull off crazy efforts for you on occasions, the one who would cheer for you on your games and whatever you do, and the kind who would reassure you that she likes the things you do 'cause boy, oh boy, she would set aside her interests to delve into that world of yours. I just know, boy, and I wish you do too. You take her breath just by walking past her. 

Please don't be cliché-- you know there's more to life than tall, fair-skinned, skinny girls, right? Please, again for the sake of all things holy and sane, like her, and there won't be a day in your life that you'll look for your aforementioned ideals 'cause I'm sure as hell my girl would slay those with her wit, gut, and humor.

I wish you'd like her. Not just because I said so, but also because you were hit by my words. I don't want to force your feelings, hers as well, but I don't want you to miss out on... who knows, the greatest love story of your life, perhaps? The true love you have always prayed for? Again, no one knows, and you won't know until you take action.

For the last time, for the sake of all things holy and sane, please like her. You're missing out on a great girl who deserves to love and feel loved.