Word Vomit (Not)

I wanted to talk to you,

give you a nice birthday greeting too--

but I'm scared it might creep you,

so I didn't bother to.

...

And that's a portion of the "faux-m" I did on a no-assignment rest day. Teeheeheehee.

Hey, you guys. It's June 27 and qwertyuiop asdfghjkl zxcvbnm. Waaah. I'm running out of words to say! This feeling comes only when I write about you-know-who. It's his ---, if I'm not mistaken. Heee. You know that I always get blank whenever I talk about "this guy" on my posts. For some reasons, he's making me speechless! Like for example; this post. I thought I'll reach the 10-paragraph mark! But as expected, I didn't.

Anyway, it's that time of the year! And sadly, I can't post anything but subtle tweets about it. Wankers. Thank God I have this blog! I have another way to spill. Unfortunately though, I'm not prepared and I don't know what to say. So... yeah. Happy Birthday! I wish I could greet you. And hug (slash PBB Teens) you. Lol, just kidding. But I'm hoping you had a nice one though! Hang on, we'll meet soon! And drift apart forever I guess. But whatever happens, I swear I'll forever be enchanted. Happy Birthdaaaayyyy!!!

Not-Cool-Enough-For-Your-Party Post

Now, I could say that my Sunday is less unproductive. Check!

Back in Senior year, we were asked --no, obliged to buy v-neck shirts and have it designed for our yearbook pictorial. So yeah, there is mine, looking shitty and wasted. I grew tired of how it looks like so I trimmed its sleeves, widened its neckline, and added fringe at the bottom showing a bit of my tummy. I'm planning to add some designs so my identity won't be revealed. Hihihi. You know, the admiers and haters might hunt me down. Haha, kidding. Yay for creativity! I have no plans of wearing it outside though. Maybe if it improved, but as for now... NO. I swear, I'd look like a walking rug.

My younger cousin asked me to paint her nails, but they're too minute! So I added a bit of nail art on mine instead. Yeah, you can stop rubbing it in, I know that I'm such a great older sibling - slash - half - sister - quote - unquote. Heh. I put the designs alternately, just because! And I blurred the right thumb photo above, I put "crush"'s name there just in case you want to know why. Hah! I must be crazed enough to do that, geez.

For days, I've been teaching myself how to fishtail braid. After 9238384848348 years, voila! Ladies and gents, here's my take on the infamous braid! It's still a bit messy but... that'll do. It's easier than I thought! (Wait, woah, I tweeted that it's a lot tougher than I thought. Mehehe.) Anyway, I love it. I can't wait to try it on... if my rebond goes wrong, that's when. Ha! Take that hipsters!

I just feel like updating. You know, so you guys won't leave me. Thank you! And there's a giveaway in this post actually; that photo of my cousin trying to imitate my crush-quote-unquote. Chinky-eyed nigga, she said! Hah! I love you all.

P.S.: Random title slightly taken from all the cool kids' tweets. Hihi.

Hopeless But Hoping

Sometimes, people who are thousand of miles away can make you feel better than the people right beside you.

Fuck "this too shall pass, it's just taking a while". This is taking too long and I've been struggling not to crumble. Though, I still thank God for making me this invulnerable. If not because of Him then I would've done something to harm myself or worse, I'd prolly be dead by now. Seriously.

The guy on my other post, he's just another reason why I'm still breathing. Thoughts of him are keeping me alive along with the faith that I'll meet him. I don't know, but he's keeping me afloat while influx of negatives are paving its way into my life. Maybe, just maybe, he's going to be the one who'll save me some day. Oh, I can't wait to get myself out of this quicksand.

You know, I just need to get away from everything. The problem is, I just don't know how.

I Took A Chance With My Heart & I Feel It Taking Over

How can you possibly miss someone you barely even know, given the fact that you haven't even met him yet and you're pretty sure that he's unaware of your existence?

All along, I never thought that such feeling exists... but that was until I invested my feelings on someone I refer to as "this stranger who's everything I ever wanted".

He's witty, I can tell by the way he tweets. Oh and, did I mention that he's comical? His posts and comments are cracking me up! And for me he's cool. Another thing that's incredibly cool is the fact that he can dance!!! *Ehem* Best Love Song Surprise *Ehem*, that's why. Hihi, I kid! But his get-ups are no joke. They're lookbook-worthy! Totally impressing. As impressing as his height! T'will do, you all know that I'm a tiny little thing. Mehehehe. Joke. And and and aaaand he 9gags! Common denominator, check! But out of everything I said, the one that I'm so fond of is my impression of him. He seems classy alright, and it's so manly I can't even! Help! I can't breathe! *catches breath* Lol. I just don't know if he plays basketball, but that would be a plus. Hihi. But still, it doesn't matter. Scratch what I said. Let's stick to what I told you about liking him 'cause he's everything I ever wanted. Yiiiieeee! Cheeseballs.

Sigh. I sound like I know him by heart when in fact, everything I know are just answers to my curiosity. Occasionally it makes me sad, but more often than not, it strengthens my desire to meet him someday. I don't have any idea why is it so, but I figured that you don't have to meet someone personally to develop a certain "love" or feeling for them. Apparently, you'll feel butterflies every once in a while; you'll never know when and you don't even know why, it'll just come knocking at your door and before you know it, it already hit you hard. This thing, I know it's too early to declare that it's love. Though one thing's for sure-- I've felt this before. The unusual thrill, how giddy it was looking at his newly uploaded photo, when my world came crashing down when he pulled a security over his once unprotected Twitter account... Yeah. Those things. They're just little whatnots actually, but for some reasons, they're special.

I know that there will be a time that he'll come across this post and learn about how he swept me off my feet. Hopefully when that moment arrives, I already met him... halfway. Lol. I don't mean to be demanding, it's just that I like him more than I like food! Hihihi. I like him okay! But kidding aside, I think I've fallen on the process. I used to think that I'm standing on the line between crush and like, but it seems like I've been standing on the latter all this time. I know it's quite ridiculous but hey, I never instructed myself to do such thing. My heart told me to give myself a break and find someone who's worth the affection. Do you think I just did? *winks*

I Don't Even Know What To Entitle This Post

I hope you all noticed, not a single rant was posted in this blog for about a week or so...
You did? Great.

Apparently, I was trying to blog about something the whole week. The problem is, I can't weave a really nice paragraph that makes sense! I've been trying to put all these precious words together but they would just fall apart in dismay. And it was frustrating, indeed! Type, backspace, contemplate, repeat -- I suck. It's a surprise that I'm the contrary of my usual ready-to-blog-cause-I'm-inspired self. Wow.

Speaking of inspired and ready to blog, I had a really hefty confession exactly a week ago! I don't really want to put the blame on it for this commotion, but I guess it's the reason why I'm trying to put up a perfect post. Shoot! That boy must have struck me this hard for I was left speechless... Oh and, did I mention that he's too awesome for my life that I don't ever want to show myself to him and everybody, ever? No? There, I just did. But heck, I was talking about this petty crush of mine again. Must... stop! But I caaaannn't!!! *super kilig emoticon here*

I'm trying not to include Jem in this post but I can't resist. Yesterday, after several months of bumping into each other and not even saying hi, he tried talking to me on group chat. Eh. For imbecile reasons, I just answered with "Di kita kilala" and "Galit ako sayo". Heck, it felt great. If you'll ask me, I don't regret anything!

Blaaaahhhh and blah blah, nothing more to say. Sorry, I suck. Nothing to do here, ciao!

And this is because this secret's getting harder to keep

I have ascertained that I might be crushing on someone at the moment. Or not? I really don't know. All I have in mind is the fact that I'll be screwed if ever they'll know about "it". Yes, and I have no plans of telling anybody about this. It felt so wrong! I wanted to stop myself, but I can't. I. Just. Can't. And the reason why, I can't figure out.

I can see no sign of progress anywhere -- nowhere near, not now, not even in the near future. It's not that I wanted to make something happen, really, it's just that... I think of him a lot and it's undeniable. Sometimes I even daydream, and I refrain myself from mentioning anything about him because I'm afraid they might caught me. Ughhh! There I said it! And for the record, it's making me unbearably confused. The kind of confusion that I haven't experienced yet even with/from my previous relationshits. Ha! Sweet cheesus, I barely even know that guy and this is happening to me. Whyyyy!

...But if this is because I'll meet him one day and he'll do the "Best Love Song surprise" I've been ogling on since like, forever, then I'd wait patiently even if it takes forever. NOT. On a deeper note, I would really do if he's *beeeeeeeeeeeep*. Not Jemmar Serapion, if he's the first person who popped in your mind. Teehee.