Just Me Trying To Be Happy

I-wanna-die-like-right-now nights... they're the worst. Trust me, I feel so shitty right now. I know, 3 out of 5 entries I post every month are... uhm, emotional-slash-almost-suicidal posts, but I can't halt myself from posting such things! I am utterly miserable, I guess.

Because of that, I vow not to post things about that anymore. Well, not actually a total ban of such kind of posts, but I'll try to lessen them. After all, this is supposed to be a happy place, right? I don't want to backread my entries and slap myself for being that sad. Ha! So let's bid those bad vibes goodbye 'cause from now on, I'll try to be happier. Cheerio!

I Took A Chance With My Heart & I Feel It Taking Over

How can you possibly miss someone you barely even know, given the fact that you haven't even met him yet and you're pretty sure that he's unaware of your existence?

All along, I never thought that such feeling exists... but that was until I invested my feelings on someone I refer to as "this stranger who's everything I ever wanted".

He's witty, I can tell by the way he tweets. Oh and, did I mention that he's comical? His posts and comments are cracking me up! And for me he's cool. Another thing that's incredibly cool is the fact that he can dance!!! *Ehem* Best Love Song Surprise *Ehem*, that's why. Hihi, I kid! But his get-ups are no joke. They're lookbook-worthy! Totally impressing. As impressing as his height! T'will do, you all know that I'm a tiny little thing. Mehehehe. Joke. And and and aaaand he 9gags! Common denominator, check! But out of everything I said, the one that I'm so fond of is my impression of him. He seems classy alright, and it's so manly I can't even! Help! I can't breathe! *catches breath* Lol. I just don't know if he plays basketball, but that would be a plus. Hihi. But still, it doesn't matter. Scratch what I said. Let's stick to what I told you about liking him 'cause he's everything I ever wanted. Yiiiieeee! Cheeseballs.

Sigh. I sound like I know him by heart when in fact, everything I know are just answers to my curiosity. Occasionally it makes me sad, but more often than not, it strengthens my desire to meet him someday. I don't have any idea why is it so, but I figured that you don't have to meet someone personally to develop a certain "love" or feeling for them. Apparently, you'll feel butterflies every once in a while; you'll never know when and you don't even know why, it'll just come knocking at your door and before you know it, it already hit you hard. This thing, I know it's too early to declare that it's love. Though one thing's for sure-- I've felt this before. The unusual thrill, how giddy it was looking at his newly uploaded photo, when my world came crashing down when he pulled a security over his once unprotected Twitter account... Yeah. Those things. They're just little whatnots actually, but for some reasons, they're special.

I know that there will be a time that he'll come across this post and learn about how he swept me off my feet. Hopefully when that moment arrives, I already met him... halfway. Lol. I don't mean to be demanding, it's just that I like him more than I like food! Hihihi. I like him okay! But kidding aside, I think I've fallen on the process. I used to think that I'm standing on the line between crush and like, but it seems like I've been standing on the latter all this time. I know it's quite ridiculous but hey, I never instructed myself to do such thing. My heart told me to give myself a break and find someone who's worth the affection. Do you think I just did? *winks*

Pursuit for Happiness

Being unbearably sad can be so tiring...

Or not. Perhaps I'm so used to it that I don't even know what's happy and what's sad anymore.

I've been trying so hard to get rid of this feeling, but it turns out that the most unwanted things are the hardest to get rid of. They just keep on coming back and they get worse once you try to get rid of them, leaving you no choice but to accept the fact that they're here to stay. No one knows until when, but it will surely go.

...And in time, this too shall pass. Maybe not sooner, but I'm willing to wait. At some point, I saw my life as something incredibly horrible. But then I to realized that at least, it's not as horrible as what others' have. In fact, I have a lot to be thankful for! I have a complete family, an incredible circle of friends, material things that some people wish for, and certain things I consider as blessings -- blessing that would always alleviate the pain I'm constantly feeling. 

And that's the point where I feel better; when I'm happy and contented. This may not be my day, my week, or even my year! But one day, my life will turn a complete 360 degrees and I'll be the happiest person ever. Mark my words! A little sadness can be equated to a whole lot of happiness. Keeping the faith!

So This Is What They Call "Outdoors"

I'M BAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKK! Guess who just flew in from New York City, Las Vegas, Paris, Santorini, and New Caledonia?!

Uhhh, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's not me. Mehehehehe.

My good ol' techless life over the past few weeks consisted of sleepovers, impossible (day) dreams, frequent trips to slumberville, super seldom gala with friends, derpin' on the phone with my super mega foxy awesome hot bestfriend, yadda yadda, blah blah blah, it's downright unproductive and I swear, you wouldn't want to hear anything about it. But I kept track of everything that happened while I'm gone... So, shall we?

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MARCH 31, 2012 - Bottoms up!

So... we went to Las Piñas for Yam's birthday bash and our `last day of school` kickoff. Yes, it's the kind of breather a partygoer -slash - stressed out college student would want! Flowing drinks, karaoke nights, and... smooching sweethearts? You got it. And I never imagine myself in such place! I mean, I have forsworn that I'd never drink alcohol but... I had no choice! Well, I had choices actually, and I chose the "not-so-good" way 'cause you know... so I could say that for once in my life, at least I did. Teehee. Bad, I know. T'was also the first time that I missed the train! Apparently, the station was already closed by the time we got there so we had no choice but to take the risky choice -- the jeepney. Good thing, I only had 6 shots and it's not enough to knock me down. Speaking of shots, I think I was intoxicated for a week or two! This ridiculous, uh, something I felt, uhm... how should I put this into words? I don't know! And I'm not spilling any beans regarding that 'cause A.) It's disgusting, and B.) Because it's ridiculous... and disgusting. Whew, I took it off of my head several weeks ago and I can't believe I'm talking about it again. Ok, let's get this over with! Lesson learned; don't get carried away with your feelings... especially when you're just 98% sober. Ha!

Less liberated photos, you knowww. Teehee. (c) Merriam Reyes

APRIL 4, 2012 - "APPY" 18TH BIRTHDAY!

One of my dearest friends for life celebrated her birthday! Oh and, did I mention that the whole barkada's invited? Yaaaayyy! The reunion we've all been waiting for! Nehhhh, scratch the reunion thing. We're incomplete. But, aaacccckkkk. I had so much fun! It felt like the whole posse's there when in fact, we're just half of the whole bunch. All the stories told, craziness, sarcasms, and, and... basically, everything! No words can express how much I miss them and how happy they made me. It's just too freakin' euphoric for my life, I felt my heart jump out of my ribcage! Hands down to the greatest (and biggest, lol) barkada ever!

Selected photos! Looool. (c) April Aquino

APRIL 10, 2012 - Bestfriends!

And this is what I missed the most -- hanging out with my bestfriend! After merely 7 months of not seeing each other, finally. We had all the time in the world to do it all again! The hustle and bustle of college had us cancelling our plans so we had no choice but to wait 'til summer. We also got one of our kabarkadas to come with us! So, it was Marian, Meng and I who were laughing hardcore over everything that we missed out on each other's lives. Dreng was missing in action though, so we're all looking forward to another getaway soon!

The only photo taken that day... (c) Marian Lizan

APRIL 14, 2012 - Heartbeat running away

We're all set for grade distribution. We all went to school for that reason and of course, quality time! Fortunately, my grades weren't as bad as I thought they were. Amen! Sad though, 'cause my undeniably awful Midterm grades resulted to a so-so GPA. Ugh. On the brighter side, at least I was able to do something less unproductive than the usual -- getting a life outdoors! I had the best time with my girls doing our thing and oh, we scored One Day tickets for 25 bucks! Lemme quote that line I'm so fond of; "I love you, I love you so much. But I just don't like you anymore". D'awww. It was as melancholic as our separation. Huuuu. Until next school year, bitches!

Loooovvvveeee!

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You missed me, guys? I know you do! Lol joke. But before I go, here's my most recent photo just in case you're curious. Hihi. Thank y'all for waiting! I love y'all!

P.S.: I'll blog better next time. Promise! ♥