I already prepared myself for the tough week ahead-- only because I expected that it's going to be a long and exhausting week at work, not because I'd be losing someone so great to me, my heart will break into tiny shards I can't even figure out how to put back in place.
Daddy, you may rest now. Everyday has been a struggle for you and it sucks that you never told us that you've been feeling something wrong all this time. We could've done something but you didn't allow us to worry. Dad, I 'd rather be worried than lose you in a snap. But this happened and I guess this is better than letting you suffer in the worst possible way. I can never, but I'll try forget the vivid image of you being revived and then losing it all. I hope you understand that I don't want to come near you yet because I can't bear to see you like that but please, encourage me like what you'll always do during the old times.
You'd always tell me to not eat fat cause it's too cholesterol-y. Mind you, I never did since 2004, the first time you told me. You health conscious prick. Help me gain weight cause you always wanted to see me healthy. Also, don't worry about practicality. I get it, dad, I just wanted to spoil you on your (unknowingly) last days which is why I wasn't too thrifty then. Calm down, okay. You know I inherited a lot of your traits so I got this. And dad, ew, you know I don't want to marry yet! Like srsly, we'll still buy your LCD TV, right? Haha. But... Dad, I wish I did marry earlier. Cause who's going to walk with me down the aisle now? You better do, dad. Your spirit better walk with me otherwise I'll have someone wear a mask with your face on it and force whoever he is to walk with me. Ha. Speaking of which, I already had plans for your Silver Wedding Anniversary, y'know. It breaks my heart knowing that you won't be there to celebrate it... Not even on our upcoming birthdays, Christmases, New Years, even Lela's graduation. Daddy, it won't ever be the same without your presence. Know that I'd always wish for you to be there.
I don't know how I'll start living again cause I never expected this to happen real soon. Nevertheless, I know God will guide us like He always did when you were still here. Daddy, thank you for being there with me for 20 years. It will never be enough for me but it is long enough to love you and feel your love. I love you, daddy. Always have and always will, and like what I'd always say in my previous posts, it is not Ralph, but you are my forever and always.
Rest in peace as well, tatay Temmy. I will never forget your life encouragements for me with regard to the family.
We lost two great men in the family in one night. Let us pray for them.
