Word Vomit (Not)

I wanted to talk to you,

give you a nice birthday greeting too--

but I'm scared it might creep you,

so I didn't bother to.

...

And that's a portion of the "faux-m" I did on a no-assignment rest day. Teeheeheehee.

Hey, you guys. It's June 27 and qwertyuiop asdfghjkl zxcvbnm. Waaah. I'm running out of words to say! This feeling comes only when I write about you-know-who. It's his ---, if I'm not mistaken. Heee. You know that I always get blank whenever I talk about "this guy" on my posts. For some reasons, he's making me speechless! Like for example; this post. I thought I'll reach the 10-paragraph mark! But as expected, I didn't.

Anyway, it's that time of the year! And sadly, I can't post anything but subtle tweets about it. Wankers. Thank God I have this blog! I have another way to spill. Unfortunately though, I'm not prepared and I don't know what to say. So... yeah. Happy Birthday! I wish I could greet you. And hug (slash PBB Teens) you. Lol, just kidding. But I'm hoping you had a nice one though! Hang on, we'll meet soon! And drift apart forever I guess. But whatever happens, I swear I'll forever be enchanted. Happy Birthdaaaayyyy!!!

In Between

I'm trying to refurbish this self.

... But it doesn't mean that I'd get rid of the curly hair, glasses, crooked smile, and my Elmo dasters-- I'm talking about school and studying harder.

I would agree that I was too queasy last sem. Whatever happened to my old self? I started doing the unthinkable! Skipping class, drinking, and no I haven't puffed yet. I might, if I didn't stop doing all these baloney. Geez. I know it's bad, but how I come I did it anyway? Ugh.

This year, I would to study harder. (And refrain from bad things, lol) I will and I can! And I must start doing it now by sleeping early 'cause I still have classes tomorrow! Mehehe. All for my family, friends, "yes", and self! Leggo!

P.S.: Apologies for this sucky updae. I just squeezed this in while I'm doing shitloads of things for school! Yeah, right.

P.P.S.: Sorry, how I look sucks as much as this post does.

This is Pleasure Blogging

And this is not.

For English class this sem, our professor asked us to make a blog as part of our shitloads of requirements for his class. Yay or nay? I say; Huzzaaaahhhh!

I bet you know what happened next. I was teeming with excitement that right after I got home, I immediately turned Coco (my laptop, lol) on to start working on the awesome-st requirement ever! Ohhhh, the chills of doing an obligatory blog... I can't seem to find all the perfect sentences to put on it so I could achieve a grade of flat 1! I ended up with "An Obligatory Blog of a Diplomat Wannabe" as my title and "jowideep" as the domain. Yes, the link above would redirect you to my blog. Click click click! And comment 'cause it'll give me a bonus. Thanks! Shameless plug.

I won't put this to an end for nothing. I blogged for a reason, not just because. And that's because... errr...

Some of my classmates gave me a reason to evacuate Blogspot. Lol, seriously. The jejeness, the emoticons overload, the annoying Friendster-ish template they put... My eyes are burning! I know I'm not even "that great", but humbly (and honestly) speaking... I don't think it's fit for a blog. I'm really really sorry, but I find it to be a bit too mediocre for a blog - slash - requirement. Ughh, I can't help it! I guess I have to blame my highschool friends' super awesome pieces of writings & blogs on my high expectations for these kind of things. Dayuuummm. I'm nothing compared to them! Though, I have to thank everyone who thinks my blog is, well, awesome. *virtual hugs*

Sorry for this bad piece of shit. I've been blogging a lot lately, and I feel so abused! I used the last batch of my creative juices on this so yeah.... it sucks. Anyhoo, I think I'll be toning this a bit 'cause school's taking up my time, and I need sleep! That means... I'm a goner. Bye!

The Aftermath of a Disturbed Sleep

It's four, and I can't tuck myself into slumber.

Thoughts are going through my head-- school, budgeting, why I don't put sugar on my milk, how I love One Direction already, when I would buy another pair of contacts, and lots of other whatnots I know I shouldn't be thinking about 'cause I should be sleeping instead. And this is a very ungodly hour, if I can say. Looks like the ghosts wont let me sleep yet, huh? Creepy...

I tend to get jittery during the first few weeks of school. I don't know if it's because of school works or my yet-to-be known professors, but it makes me want to throw up! I have to bring a plastic bag with me every morning 'cause apparently, lotsa butterflies were hanging out in my stomach. Just, asdfghjkl. Wish me luck this school year. Oh and, pray that I won't skip classes too much! It's so dragging, even my grades were being dragged down to the depth. Lol, but seriously, I mean it. So don't do it. Classes starts on Thursday, yay!

Bills to pay, parties to rock, clothes to buy-- I haven't started saving yet but I could already say that I'm broke! And on my new-school-year resolution, I vow not too splurge too much. Yes, food is counted 'cause I'll never get why don't I gain weight even if I eat a lot. That's beyond unfair and frustrating! Eating is pointless so yeah, might as well ditch. Joke, I can't! I'm on unlimited-rice-junkie, yo! But I'm keeping wallet's guard up. Ready!

I hate milk with sugar. Or sweetened milk. Or whatever as long as it has a combination of milk and sugar. It's inexplicable how I love sweets, but not sweet milk. Aside from the fact that I think it's utterly disgusting, I think they just don't go together. But I love how gramma prepares milk for us every morning. I just feel the contrary everytime they forgot to tell me which cup is mine. Sugar slithering down my throat, ew! I can hear the protests of my internal organs. Aaaaccckkk.

For everybody's information, One Direction's "Up All Night" album was playing while I was drafting this post. I love One Direction! I'm morphing into a second level fan, I guess. I started watching videos on YouTube, reblogging & liking related posts on Tumblr, and tweeting them too! It's actually unusual for a non fangirl like me, but bear with me while I deal with my die-hard Directioner self. Hazza! Now excuse me while I continue list'ning to the entire album. Eh mah gawd.

Since I started wearing contacts, everything felt better. Kidding aside! If glasses can give you HD images, contact lenses gives you holograms! You don't have to wipe it a lot and there's no need to worry about crushing it, pop them perfectly and you're good to go! Make me choose between glasses and contacts, but I really have to say both. Glasses don't need to be boring or geeky or nerdy, frames in unusual cuts are there to make you look flashy! However, some outfits look better when you aren't wearing any obvious eye accessories so yeah, contacts would be perfect. Ah what the heck. I'll get rich and have a lasik eye surgery. Yay for perfect vision!

Geez, I've been drafting this for almost an hour now and still, signs of sleepiness are nowhere in sight. Must start counting sheep! Sugar dreams, I hope you'll all have an awesome sleep!

Looks Like I'm Finally Awake

This must be God's way of telling me that moving on is the best thing I ever did.

For imbecile reasons, I woke up disappointed today. My dreams, my oh-so vivid dreams... For a moment there, I thought it was real. I could still remember every bit of him in that moment --gray shirt, gray shorts, his bright orange backpack which he carries along wherever he goes, his face, his sincerity, the way he apologized, and how he put his arms around me-- my weakness then, actually. And it's all in one dream.

I wonder, would you call it a dream when everything felt so real? When you know it was there, just merely existing the whole time? Sigh. If you were in my place, I know you'd feel the same. In that surreal moment, it felt like time warped me in some place where I'm obliged to feel every emotion I know I've gotten rid of. Oh and, did I mention that it made me feel bad? It did, and I have to feel that way the whole day. It sucks, FYI. It made me feel the pain all over again.

I'm not disappointed because we'll never work out, I'm disappointed 'cause everything I dreamed of that night won't happen in reality. It's not that I want him to get mushy with me or whatever, all I ever wanted was for him to say sorry. The problem is, he's too busy to notice that he was the reason behind all the pain I felt during the past few months. I usually ask myself if he haven't noticed, but I think I know the answer all along. And it's a big fat no for that matter 'cause I figured that he'd rather be with other girls than care for my feelings. Oh well. Looks like some things are better off the way I won't want them to be. Who knows? If he happened to be my *ehem* boyfriend *ehem*, he might have done something worse, right?

Today marks the 41st month of liking him-- if I never stopped, that is. Truth be told, but I don't really miss him. If not for this dream - slash - nightmare last night then I'd totally forgot that he exists. Boom, auto reminisce mode was activated. The one I had on February 24 was a good cry. It didn't just made me feel better, it also ignited that I should really move on 'cause he'll never like me whatever I do. I've accepted the fact and I feel better now.

Blaaaahhhh, here goes another nonsensical post about how pitiful my lovelife is.

Keep Your Cool, Schoolers Gonna School

It's June! You know what it means...

School month. Yeah, we'll all be back to school in a few! It's also an indication that once again, we'll be... A.) Waking up early. B.) Have wallets plumper than us, C.) Welcoming stress with open arms, D.) Have shitloads of things to do that will make us wish for a reunion with summer, and E.) Experiencing lots and lots multiple choices whatsoever... like this one. Mehehe.

Admit it. Every summer, a part-- no, a huge portion of you misses school and once you're back and the real is on the rise, you started feeling the contrary. Am I right? I know you couldn't agree more.

So... classes are going to start in less than two weeks, and I can't conceal my excitement! But honestly, I guess I won't feel that way if not for my friends and my allowance. Of course! I'm just like any other student-- school bores me but it excites me at the same time. Did I mention that I curse sleepless nights? That I also cringe over requirements? Oh, and I do procrastinate. It's quite surprising that amidst my busy schedule, I still find time to blog. I hope you haven't noticed, but I blog a bit like, regularly. One post per week (for me) is regular, so deal with it! Anyway, I have yet to mention that writing keeps me sane and it's the kind of breather that I wanted so instead of doing crazy things like getting wasted or something, I'd rather sit infront of my computer and talk about how my life went. After which, I'm all set to study 'cause I've finally got to vent all the heaviest sighs out. Ha. I sound tame, I know.

Hopefully, next sem will be just as great as the previous ones. Especially now that we have Sunday classes... Do I hear an Amen for restlessness? Amen! College, I'm ready. Bring it on!