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Have we end up this way; see me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy and you're doing you're best to avoid me?

I say, NO. Everything that happened in high school stays in high school. And I guess he was thinking the same when yesterday, his name suddenly popped out of my FB chat to ask how I was doing and stuffs. I was really appalled! And yes, it did made my day. Every time we have long fights, I'm usually the one who talks first. Urrrrgggghhh, the thought that he was the first one to talk made me giddy! It was just unexpected. Gaaaahhh. And another thing totally unexpected is the fact that we accidentally saw each other at church! Just, asdfghjkl. His smile! Most probably the sweetest smile I've seen lately. Though he's a little darker than usual, he's just... cute. Teehee, I miss him to pieces. I just can't help but pour the sudden gushes I felt. Thank You, Lord! Now I know, it's called Sabado de Gloria for a reason.

He could easily have been a hallucination willed into existence by the sheer force of my desire to see him.

Narcissism

Say hello to the 21st day of Summer! Err, I am also commemorating the month after I gave J my graduation letter for him. Hihi. Ohhhh, the high school vibes. And kilig vibes as well! Anyhoo, I'm home alone.

Invisible

I hate it when she puts his name on her GMs. It just fucking hurts. I know, I might be overthinking again but I can't help it. It just felt like she's gaining a slot ahead from me. Ok, let's face it. She's really a slot ahead. He likes her. A mild crush perhaps, but still... I don't know. Ok, this is nothing. Just...

Putangina lang gusto ko sumuko, umiiyak na talaga ko ano ba

Let it go

No, I'm not selfish. I just dislike the fact that I can't buy this thing I want because my parents said so and... ahhh, never mind. It's driving me nuts though! I know I'm not rude but I became one when they started discouraging me regarding the things that I want to do and stuffs. Now I'm all bitch-ed up because of everything. Le sigh. I hate it every time this happens.

Take Me Back in Time

So, this is a letter.

Dear fourteen-year old self,

 Congratulations! Finally, you made it through. You have moved on from the ups and downs of your first love! And now there's this throbbing guy you seem to like. Well, good for you! He doesn't bite but surely he'll keep you hanging on a thread. Don't worry, he'll cause you less pain and of course, long-lasting euphoria. I suggest you do the right moves. Don't ever push him away, he won't like that. I mean, nobody likes that, what was I thinking. Errrr, but ignoring him for 3 days would do, leaving you a faux-boyfriend. Be careful, though! Sometimes you'll find yourself on the verge of giving up because of all these bipolarity. Everything won't end there, for he will leave you a promise that you'll see each other again. Take care! I know you'll see him soon. Samara will be pushed through, right?! Yes!

Hoping for the best, 

Your sixteen-year old self