Still Into You

Day 1 into this relationship and I’ve already kept in the back of my mind that two weeks after, you’re going to get tired and then leave me eventually. 

But look, love. Almost 7 years later, here you are still proving me wrong.

I long for you on days that we can’t physically be together. The world has never been nice to me but with you around, I feel like I could conquer it.

You know, love, I really don’t get why but when I’m on my own, I always have to be strong— not just for myself, but for everyone else as well. With you, I can let my guard down and be the one being looked out after. I've always loved the feeling. My heart is always at ease when yours is near. Your mere presence comforts me— it has always been the reliever I needed for my panic attacks. Goodness, what I would do to always be around you.

You are my home— the walls I could always lean on, the roof that is up there to provide me warmth and protection, and the door that is always open to welcome me. You are where I'm most comfortable and loved. You are mine. And yes,

I’d love to go home to you.

Devils Roll The Dice, Angels Roll Their Eyes

It’s 9:42 and I am on the floor with alcohol and feelings I don’t know the name of.

I am as dazed as I am certain that you feel it too. I may or may not be making things up but my gut tells me otherwise. I wish I am not making things up. I WOULD LOVE IT IF I WEREN’T. Except, I am not sober thinking about this at that moment.

The clock ticked 11:19 and I wait for you to make the first move. You didn’t, so I did.

And I hate that I did. I am sobering up and I’m still pondering about it. So I guess, joke’s on me cause intoxicated or not, the thought has already consumed me. Who am I kidding, though? I act like it just happened when in all honesty, it’s been like this for quite a few months already and I’ve been playing it cool since. I loved playing it stupid.

03:20 now with my slumber disturbed, I have no idea what to do. I’ve long concluded that this is errant but I could just pray to the lord to make this stop.

Or rather, make me stop. I know this is a spur of a moment kind of thing but it’s as if I almost wanted to delve in this illusion I did or did not make up. But I want to be proven wrong as much as this is wrong.

It’s 6:32 and I just woke up.

Still with feelings I don’t know the name of.

Hope You're Smitten

To my favorite inbox notif,
here i am greeting you a happy birthday,
wishing it'd be your favorite notif as well
out of the hundred greetings you'd prolly get.

Some sappy birthday message I made for a friend who wants to greet the girl he likes.

She doesn't deserve my quality writing tho.