Women, why you such whiny bitches?

This me and my most uninspired self trying to blog about how swell last night was. 

I miss my guy friends so bad. And when I say "guy friends", I'm talking about  this bunch of straight guys who play basketball together, goes to gym, made fun of each other -- you know, your typical teenage boys who do all sorts of typical teenage things. They're actually tougher and manlier than my college classmates combined!. Heck yeah! And i couldn't find a reason why I'm even friends with them. As far as my memory is concerned, everything started in Sophomore year when we had a group project and we were sorted with these guys. Eventually, the friendship grew 'cause we started hanging out with each other and their other friends. That was actually awesome because it expanded our circle!

Our time for bonding lessened when we entered college. It's like it went from twice (or even 5 times) a month to once in 2 - 3 months... and that made me miss them terribly. So I was just thankful for last night 'cause I had the chance to have fun with them via Twitter! To cut the long story short, let me just tell you that we had fun doing the same ol' stuffs -- MAKING KUYOG A FRIEND FOR COOKIES! And laughing, and making kana... things! It was so hardcore that the mentions increased and we have no more space for our message. Haha! It was hella fun!

A portion of our chika! Heeee. Thank God I have awesome guy friends. They lessen the drama and they make me happy. Oh yeah! *bro fist* Stephen, William, Donne, Phel, Bamp, and Al; THANK YOU. To our other guy friends who seem lost; GO AND OPEN YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNTS 'CAUSE I TERRIBLY MISS YA'LL!

P.S.: I'm not saying that my friends are such bitches, but I just love being with these guys. Plus, my girl friends are as boyish as I am, we're one heck of a happy barkada!

I don't know if it's just taking a while or...

My life seems to be more melancholic as each day passes. I can't help but feel like everything's against me and I'm not destined for happiness. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but this too shall pass and I'll always be here patiently waiting for what life has in store for me. But normally, I would fret about how unruly and recalcitrant my hair is, would secretly be envious that my friends have this and that and I don't, would (still) be angry about how we didn't end up together, and sulk that I can't have the life that I had. It just sucks knowing that the contrary won't amaze me any sooner. It's just disappointing.

Despite everything that's happening right now, I am still holding on to the fact that someday, somehow, everything that upsets me now will all be gone and I'll be superbly happy once again. It might be taking a while, but I know it's going to be worth the wait. I hope God will see a single good deed I've done in the past and he'll reward me for that. Ha! But I'm not saying that he's never been good to me, I just sort of need something that seems to be cherries on top of this whole commotion of a sundae.

It will all be worth it in the end, I promise. And this blog will grow further, you'll see!

JANUARY 22: 2 Years Ago

Errr, that's me. And that guy on the left was the guy I liked for ___ years. Teehee. Yeah that's Jem. This was our booth whatsoever for the fairbound that year, and we were set-up to have our photo taken. I was trying not to have it taken so I was being makulit and I was moving all over the place. HAHAHAHA, but the fans succeeded. We had our photo taken but none of those are decent. But he seems happy in every single crazy photo we had -- HE WAS SMILING! So yeah, here, some of the photos taken 'cause not everybody uploaded. Take note, these photos were taken exactly 2 years ago.

At least I know I gave him that smile even for a moment. *smiles* Sorry for this post, I said I'm going to move on, but I really am, I just found myself missing him. I know this will never happen again so... Jem, if you came across this post one day, let me just tell you that I loved you so much. You were never mine but I wish you were. At this point, I'm moving on but I felt sad when you got even and you didn't greet me on my birthday. But, whatever. Nothing will change, you'll still be with her and I'll be here. Sure you can come back, but everything won't be the same. By that time, hopefully, I'm better than this. Despite all the pain and bitterness, I'll still be happy for you. Not just wholeheartedly, though! But I will be. Soon. *smiles* P.S.: Don't worry, I'm trying not to cry as hard as I did before. I'm starting to feel ok. *smugs*


PHOTO CREDITS TO: C. Quintana, D. Domingo, J. Padilla

Is it "goodbye world wide web" for me and for the rest of the world?

I've been spending so much time on 9gag that it has taken over my whole life. Seriously. And I learned about SOPA and PIPA from that certain website.

According to the ever-trustworthy Wikipedia, "The Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) is a U.S. House bill to fight online trafficking in copyrighted intellectual property and counterfeit goods. Proposals include barring advertising networks and payment facilities from conducting business with allegedly infringing websites, barring search engines from linking to the sites, and requiring Internet service providers (ISP) to block access to the sites. The bill would criminalize the streaming of such content, with a maximum penalty of five years in prison."  The said bill was passed by a certain Lamar Smith who's being badly bashed all over the world wide web.

No American-based sites mean no free knowledge. Why? I'm pretty sure everybody relies on the web for things -- exempli grata is myself. I learnt how to speak English fluently via the web. I go on the internet to look for word meanings and use it for my blog entries. So if ever SOPA will be passed unto the house, my world will definitely come into a crumbling crash. No more extreme venting, no more assignments made easy, no more extra infos shared by the web, , no more easy connection to people abroad, no more everything! Everything I used to have an awesome essay which landed me to my first win won't be there again for my second, third, and more wins to come. Sigh. 

This too shall pass, except SOPA, and everything will be better... if we still have the internet. HAHAHAHA, Lamar Smith, I'm sure you won't have the balls to go out of your house 'cause you know, we'll win this and you'll come to our knees saying sorry. Ha!

Of love and putting this commitment to an end

Before I start this post, let me just say that I couldn't do this anymore. I'm putting this 366 day blog whatsoever to an end! I couldn't take seeing my blog with nonsensical posts. Never! And besides, college is stressing the hell out of me and my creative juices are usually drained so... I'm letting go. This blog doesn't deserve to suffer!

Okay, ehem. I actually have nothing good to write. I just would want to vent about how hurtful it was the other day when I saw him and I went on without saying anything. Actually, the only thing I want for my birthday is to talk to him. I swear, this wish could go on 'til my birthday next year, and the years after that if ever it won't happen -- I just need to talk to him.

First, I want to ask him why he chose her instead of me. I mean, I've been here since God knows when, so why her? *almost tearing up* 2008, 2009, 2010... I've been her eversince. I watched him play basketball, achieved things, and even evolved! And did I mention that I liked him even if he doesn't look as good as he does now? I liked him, I liked him so much. Admit it or not, there came a point when we both know that I stupefied myself just for him. And don't forget my efforts which, by the way, are put to waste. My super letter on a Superman stationery, and blah, and blah, and blahhh, I wish it's always February 24, 2011 when he made me go giddy and whatever. Ugh! I hate how it's making me sad. And no, I'm not losing all the progress I made. I'm just being... nostalgic. *cries* I don't know.

I watch Superman fly away. I swear, I'll be with you someday. I'll be right here on the ground when you come back down.

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It's the most beautiful time of the year... Haha! I kid. But it's my birthday! And this is the sunniest day... for me. Oh yeah.

Nothing much had happened, but people were greeting me on Facebook, Twitter, SMS... everywhere! And it's touching that (not everybody though) they all remembered my birthday. Especially my friends! Thank youuuuu. But one. I didn't greet him, why would I wait? But anyway...

Again, here's the cake (and me). My treat to all of you for reading my blog. Haha! I'm 17!

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This must be the most bittersweet day of my 16th year of existence, EVER.

Soooo, I'm turning 17 tomorrow! And this is my 100th post! I guess this post will be just about my birthday celebration... and that guy! For some reasons, he's included. And as soon as I start typing more, you guys will know why.

Cake from the awesomest foursome! Was actually touched with their effort. Imagine, my friend, Charmaine decided to cut Eco just for that. Gosh, her grades are in stake and I didn't know anything about it. Duh, it's a surprise and I'm not supposed to know about it HAHAHA but anyway, I have never been this surprised my entire life and everything is really heartfelt! Again, just in case they'll come across my blog someday, I love you girls. *virtual hugs and kisses*

Then the bittersweet part, I saw J before going home. I think it took 3 months before I get to see him again. And just so you know, my heart dropped to the extreme. I don't want to talk about it anymore!!! It just hurts. *sad face*

Oh, I wish tomorrow would go well.

13 of 366

Friday the 13th. First for the year. And I guess I haven't felt it yet!

For some reasons, this day was spent mostly with my first sem classmates. I missed them to bits! And I guess I don't have to mention all of them, they'll be in my heart forever. Naaahhh! Too sweet. Let's just put it this way -- they're real flexible friends who will never let you down and they will always be our lovely alliances. Hugs!!!

My PoliGov teacher bombarded me with questions regarding the constitution and the blah blah blah, it's crazy! My brain bled! But s'okay, I answered some questions and... I don't know what grade I'll receive so... yeah. Haha.

Intro to IR is so kilig 'cause there's this certain classmate of mine... and I have a slight crush on him. Teehee.

Filipino class, as usual, is funny and nothing peculiar happened.

NSTP is boring, as usual. but we got a surprise quiz after making noise for imbecile reasons but at least I got through it!

Dismissal was spent for dance practices. We're almost done with ours and I hope it turns out well. God, help us! For midterms, please?

Then SM with Charmaine! Had a quick bite at McDo, shared a lot of stories with her! My heart is breaking. Not just mine, but ours! We had a tiny talk about love and stuffs. Huuuu!

Scored a top at VMall! HAHAHA!

Bumped into J's brother. Myyyyy. He looked at me, I guess? And he looks a lot like his brother! And then there's Rap who made chika with me about the cheerdance competition that I missed. Hihihi.

Currently writing on my blog and almost putting it to an end. Now this is it, bye!

12 of 366

Free day Thursday!!! I thought I'll spend this day without any worries but it turns out that I have research papers to do. It drained my brain! In the first place, why did they give me minimum work when they'll pass certain works to me just because the person responsible for it is missing in action? That sucks! I feel like they're taking my presence for granted. Anyway, at least I got to show them that I have the guts. HAHAHAHA, if I have the guts. Now I'm off 'cause I've been online for a long time. Ciao!

P.S.: 3 more days til I turn 17!

11 of 366

Nothing special happened today -- usual boring PhysSci classes, complicated JPL whatevers, now exciting English, and no-teacher Econ. Except for some sudden twist of fate that totally highlighted some hours of this day. Okay! So, I started the day with Good Times. Mo Twister is back on the radio! I love him, and I love the fact that he alleviated the stress yesterday has given me. Ew, now let's just get the ball rolling. Zany classmates are zany, especially when they do crazy stuffs with you! The real trill happened before English when we trolled people who would pass by our room's window. Haha! We almost died of laughter! Then blah blah, yadda yadda, study study, Eco class was spent watching 3 Idiots. Ex-classmate-now-young-working-man dropped by... He's even thinner and his tresses are trimmed. He looks okay and... Blah. I couldn't describe him any further but all I could say is, I wish he's still our classmate. Hihi. Oh gosh how I wish I can slap myself. Then we skipped PE 'cause we'd rather stroll at SM than dance ballroom. Yeah, that's bad, but we're so bad PE can't handle us. Hah!

Now, forgive me for this post. So crappy I'm ashamed of myself.

10 of 366

"Gusto mo ba talaga ko?"

-- Do you really like me?

One year ago, somebody popped that question to me. I'm not sure if he's waiting for my answer but due to the most imbecile reasons in the world, I didn't replied. So, how would I answer that question if he asked me the same question this year? Here...

Well if it's January 10, 2011, then most probably I would've said yes. But it's January 10, 2012 so I'd say "I did." And oh,  "fuck you, I was worth it." Just so you know, I've been regretting that moment cause I believe that if I would have said something more affirmative then things won't be this way. But what the heck, I never knew anyway. So it;s better that everything's like this, I realized that life is better without your bullshit. Now please leave the hell out of me 'cause I'm tougher than ever and I'm better.

P.S.; Kiss my sexy aaaaaaaaaaa. xx 

Sorry, bitter blog. I just have to!!!

9 of 366

Brace yourselves for a nonsensical post. 

Mondays are nothing-to-do days since my current schedule has no Monday classes in it. But if ever I have, I'd still stay at home today 'cause of the Feast of the Black Nazarene. It's one crazy Philippine tradition and trust me, you wouldn't want to see people being squished in the crowd where some are even dying. I don't know, but it's pitiful.

Uhm, I guess I should be reading the Philippine Constitution now. Off I go!

8 of 366

7 more days 'til I turn 17! It scares me a bit but it excites me at the same time. 17, 18, then 19... I'm almost 20! And I'll be stepping on the brink of minority sooner. Legal age, I'm getting there! But since I'll be spending my last year as a minor and I think that my parents still has the right to buy me everything I want, I'll list them all here just in case they'll come across my blog one of these days. Teehee. *crossing fingers*

1. Of course, a BlackBerry. I almost had one but... nevermind, it's making me bitter. But still... can I have one? *batts eyelashes*
2. An iPad!!! It's too awesome for my life. And I looooove Tap Tap Revenge and Fruit Ninja!
3. New laptop! Seriously, I'm using an ancient desktop and I guess it's goin' to break anytime soon. And I just might need it for school.
4. A no-budget shopping spree on clothes and shoes! I seriously need a wardrobe upgrade.
5. Notebooks, Pilot Gtecs, and Markers. I need something to write on and... you never know when inspiration strikes!
6. Jansport and Nike backpacks. Plus, A nautical-inspired candy bag. I just need them for school.
7. Make-ups. Not that that I wear them always, but there might come a time that I'll need it.
8. Instant hair straightener. Now if only they exist... and no, I'm not talking 'bout flat iron. I need something more instant than that!
9. Books. Cause I need to nurture and relax. I miss pleasure reading!
10. Uhmmm, a boyfriend? 'Cause I guess I'll be needing someone who'll take care of me other than my family and friends. HAHAHAHA.

But the problem now is, how would my parents know about this if they aren't the stalker-type and they're busy? Siiiggghhh.

7 of 366

Le me. Gay and girly. Not everybody knows that I'm almost bi, right? Now I'm coming out and I'm proud to say that I'm almost bi and it feels awesome. Alright!

6 of 366

Goosebumps all over me. I was shocked when I learnt that one of my lolos died this morning because of seizure, and that I'm not sure of yet. But it gave me chills knowing that the last time I saw him was just 5 days ago at our family reunion. Flabbergasting indeed.

That's why we should live life to the fullest. We never know when will our time be. One minute we're alive and breathing, then we're catching it the next -- it will be so unexpected. If I have one wish, I'd wish for a life well lived. I don't want to be a wandering soul haunting with regret. Never! And like what this blog is all about, seizing the day and radiating love, we better learn how to make our and everybody else's days epic.

5 of 366

Yay for free days! I seriously would want to thank whoever arranged our block schedule 'cause I definitely needed a breather. Fck yeah breaks, colleges is so stressful!

We have research papers to do, too many to memorize and understand, and blah blah blah, it gets jumbled up in my head. Thank God, I can do manage to do it with my sanity in tact. Whew! And with awesome college friends around, what can go wrong? They never failed to make my college days worth remembering. Awesome foursome, here they are!

Le me and Chella. One girl I could most likely relate to! She's really hilarious and I love having her around. We like the same clothes, stuffs, even boys! Hihi. Now that's why we're friends.

Le me and Jans. My seatmate forever! Lalim and Lim, our surnames almost sounds the same. This friend of thee is one hell of a maldita, if I may say. But she's the craziest, though! And let me prove it by saying that just by saying bleeped words, we all die laughing!

Le me. Le best bitch friend forever, Charmaine! I've been with her ever since God knows when... I think I know when! If my memory serves me right, it was after the GA but we actually had an encounter waaaayyyy before that. And we could relate to a lot to each other! We like the same things, has the same humor, and blah blah blah. We've been shopping together, eating together, BI-ing together... HAHAHA, we do stuffs together and if it goes on, I guess I'll be with her 'til all the semesters end. Ew Charmaine, if you ever had the chance to read this, hear me say "ew I'm so sweet".

If only God will forbid, I want to be with them 'til Senior Year. Why not? Good company, good vibes, good grades -- what more can I ask for? These girls are awesome. I know one day they'll come across this post so lemme just tell y'all that I LOVE YOU, MAH BITCHES! ♥

4 of 366

I never lost count. 30 months supposed to be, I stopped halfway at 26, and I got back in shape on the 29th. I hate the fact that I'm forced to remember every single detail about everything whenever the 4th of the month comes fumbling in. Today is the 4th and you sure know how I feel -- nostalgic for the feeling but hatred towards the person. When will I ever learn how to forgive and forget? As much as I try to teach myself these basic things, I just can't do it. It's too much to be forgotten and forgiven.

But despite how melancholic everything was, this day turned out to be so awesome. That "somebody" who lit up my world, passing grades, awesome friends, why do I have to be sad when such positive things are coming my way? I guess I was just too close-minded and I never bothered to look around. I was wrong there. So this year, I pledge that I will be more positive than the usual and I will always look at the brighter side of things. New Year's resolution, yo! Now watch me live my life better.

No more sad faces for every 4th, just challenge accepted memes. Bring it on!

3 of 366

Back to school, back to the harsh reality.

Nothing happened, except that my now former classmate sold me his Eco book. Haha, he was actually the one I'm pertaining to on the mamamia tags! Yes, the one who made the butterflies in my stomach run, or in their case, fly wild. I wasn't surprise that he's there, I knew way back last year that he'll be going back for that matter. "Eto na ang chance mo Jowi!", my friend said. Yeah, and he seriously doesn't look like how I first saw him. His eyes were reddish, he looks thin... I don't know, he looks like he lacks sleep? I have no idea but I wish he's doing great. Lol. I talk like I know him too much.

And if we never meet again, please remember that I'm forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me.

2 of 366

Nostalgic mode was left switched on.

Remember last year when I accidentally saw him downtown? Yes, it's like a stain I couldn't get rid of.

Apparently, I can't stop thinking about how smitten I was that day. It was just his presence yet I acted as if I'm goin' to die of too much giddiness. Even the butterflies in my stomach are wildly fluttering! Siiiggghhh... It sure was fun looking back at the past but for the first time in years, I have no intentions to stay. I went on and left all those behind. And I don't regret that decision, now I'm happier.

Chapter 2012, Page 1 of 366

This day = TOTAL BLAST!

As usual, I woke up because of my parents' laughter. Gaaahhh. Nothing peculiar happened, but we had a family reunion later that day. Almost everyone was there! T'was glad meeting them and I really had fun. And the food was great, harharhar.

I vowed to write everyday on this blog! A 366 project, perhaps? Yes, 366. Leap year, right? We have 29 days for February. Now lemme just cross my fingers for that. Haha!

I am so enervated, I have to halt this cause nothing good is coming out from my mouth. Awesome year ahead, yes? YES!

P.S.: My birthday's coming up! 14 more days to go. ♥