Wednesday, May 27, 2020

2020 1st Quarter Recap: The World That Was

New Year’s Day has always been associated with new beginnings. For some reason, it has that feeling of fervent hope that alludes people into doing something they've never done. From creating resolutions to finally doing the drastic change-- the impulse is just 'round the corner and the options to looking and feeling new are limitless.

For me, though, it also brought fright. When I was young, they aired gruesome warning ads that scarred me. Now that I’m older (and probably, wiser), what scares me is the uncertainty that accompanies it. My realist self is not that optimistic but to be fair, I’m just managing my expectations so I could contain my emotions. With that, you may ask, how was 2020 for me so far?

We start off with January, my favorite. Aside from the chill vibe and the chilly weather, it’s my birth month! Bias, I know, but there's something with that month that screams "trial season!" where we can still make room for mistakes. Unfortunately though, I was sick on New Year’s Day so I opted to stay home.

Believe me, I used to have photos of fireworks every year because we always celebrate it in our grandparents’ house but since I’m down with flu, this is the closest I can get to a New Year’s kiss.

We were required to go back to work immediately the day after. We gotta keep the hustle going so I wore something cute to refrain myself from looking like I’m not enthusiastic for the incoming year. You can prolly say that I perfectly faked it.



I turned 25 this year! I was at my worst state a few days prior because of all the jitters my possible promotion is sending me; in fact, the boyfriend prepared something on the weekend prior and we forgot to take a photo because I was having the worst mental breakdown. However, I’m more than glad that it happened when I’m with him because no one knows how to handle me better. Oh, and it was our 7th year anniversary getaway! Damn, I couldn’t be more regretful that we forgot to take a photo. Or was it in his phone? I’m not sure.

Our college clique agreed to meet one last time before Jans left for New Zealand. At the time these photos were taken, she was just about to get married to her then fiancé! And like our usual hangs, we went home with tummy aches because this crazy bunch is hilarious as always.

Crazy how one of us is already hitched when we’d still joke about immature stuff all the time. I swear, we also made jokes about what our friend will expect in NZ, lol. Come to think of it though, that’s what I like about us— we make dealing with things fun, whether it be serious or not.

If you happen to stumble upon this post, beshy, know that I’m happy for you. You deserve a love that makes you happy and a person that matches your energy. You have always been the one in charge for as long as I can remember and you deserve someone who you can take a break with but hustles the same way you do— and I think your hubby is that person. Love you! I hope to see you all soon!

It’s finally my birthday! Crazy how it fell on the day of my performance review when it’s all I’ve been worried about. While my immediate supervisor and I were on session, our momager (lol) ordered food for the entire team! She even joked that it was my blowout and that they should thank me. *puppy eyes emoji* It was all on her though! And I appreciate that part. Also, look at what my bestfriend Diego got me!

Ralph paid me a visit at home and got me food! Again, why don’t we have photos? Ugh.

Our company has a thing for celebrations. Our Cebuano owners paid homage to their town by bringing the fiesta to the city. It was free ice cream at work day!

Cera’s birthday fell on the last week of the month and what better way to celebrate it but with a weekend getaway! We went to Zambales for her “Taylor Swift” year and... I can’t remember anything from there because I was too drunk. Kidding! But we had so much drinks, sand, and games that I can’t articulate how fun that weekend was.

My introverted and socially anxious ass is extra grateful to everyone for being so warm! I was very anxious before all of this because I haven’t gone out with them yet and I didn’t know what to expect but I’m glad I overcame my fear ‘cause it turns out this trip is going to be one for the books!

Trial month ended and we are all settled in. February is here!

Our friend, Ruby, resigned. We were sad to see her go but of course we can’t let her just flee without feeling special; we had despedidas left and right and achievement unlocked: we made her cry! We sure miss you everyday, Rubs.

Celebrating our founder’s birthday is one of our company’s many traditions. For this year, we were served with lechon! Peep us smiling with the food like we aren’t impatiently waiting for our turn.

For Valentine’s this year, I got Ralph a gift. Which is very unusual since I’m always too broke and I have shitload of bills to pay. And he loved it! He couldn’t stop being touchy when I told him I’ll get him this. As for me, I’d give myself a pat on the back for getting him something he always wanted to have.

Last year, our barkada hopped on to what will be our new fave destination— La Union!

Andrea missed last year’s trip due to work so we promised to go back. Since everyone can’t come this year because they were scared of the virus, we risk-takers just made it a tita trip.

When we said we’re going on a tita trip, we really made it a tita trip. All we did was lounge, eat, and take photos! It was chill and relaxing, the kind we could take for days when we need a break from the world. Truly, going to the beach is therapeutic. I can’t wait to go back when all of this is over!

March started off strong with a surprise party for Ralph’s cousin. I was invited!

They have a tight-knit family and he’s really close with his cousins. They have a certain liking for gatherings, hence this, and I even got into one of the games and won a Starbucks GC! To cap off the day, we went to the arcades to play with everyone's favorite baby, Luis. I’m not sure if it’s him or us who enjoyed more, though...

I’ve mentioned earlier that we have tons of company traditions; here’s another one.

From where I work, March signifies that the most-awaited GREAT Awards is just lurking around the corner. It’s that time of the year when everyone gets dolled up and hope for the best. Some of us, though, just hopes that we make it to the buffet table before food runs out. LMAO.

One of the highlights of the night is when our teammates bagged an award. It was unexpected given that the year was rough for our brand but still, they thrived and their hard work didn’t go unnoticed. Proud of you, guys!

I came home with my work sisters. I forgot to mention that we booked a hotel for dressing up but actually, it was for a night full of drinking! A photoshoot with hungover titas ensued the morning after.

Guess what? I still managed to go out with Ralph’s family later that day. Talk about tireless!

Things went haywire the week after. Cases exponentially rose in various countries that establishments had to close down. We weren’t even allowed to go out unless we're going to the grocery. Our mobility has been limited to only our homes for safety.

Of course we still managed to see each other before all these hullabaloo, we insisted. Actually, Ralph did. We had a petty fight and I refused to go anymore, lol. Good thing he did because the quarantine wasn’t supposed to take this long. As of this writing it has been 2 months since we last saw each other and I miss him already! Mind you, there was an apocalyptic vibe the last time we went out so you could just imagine our fear.

Half of March was spent at home. It’s either I’m doing nothing or I’m working from home. Kidding, it was just partly working.

I wasn’t expecting this, in fact, we pursued our beach trip because we thought this will all be over soon. I’m not gonna lie though, I don’t have concrete plans on how I’ll spend my summer but this is not the route I'm planning to take.

My fingers are crossed that things will get better despite how challenging these times are. For an introvert who constantly declines invites and stays home, this is becoming tedious. I also get bouts of anxiousness and mental breakdowns here and there but I strive. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends, sometimes through writing— I have my ways of coping up and more often than not, it's becoming less sufficient. But again, we thrive.

To better days.

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Of Old Habits and the New Normal

I came to the conclusion that if you’re here, it’s probably because I posted a cryptic Instagram story of my blog page and you know what it means as one of my trusted friends, oooorrrr you stumbled upon my Instagram page and clicked the link that I added in my bio. Eitherway, I know we’ve both got nothing good to do so here you are, marveling at the output of my faux productivity. Blah blah blah, welcome to the cyber loft!

To be honest, the welcome was unnecessary.

Supposedly, today is the end of the lockdown but due to circumstances that would probably kill us [alongside our government's incompetence], it was extended for another 15 days thus, further tormenting my overthinking mind. Though I am in favor of it, I can't help but still be anxious because medical solutions are continuously being overlooked by the clowns in power. #SolusyongMedikalHindiMilitar. Also, the double standards being exhibited in handling quarantine violations angers me. So far, someone has been shot to death and another has been mauled while our government officials who did worse than them gets compassion. Ignorance of the law excuses no one, we know that, but if these nonchalant pigs who are supposed to be exemplary are being excused, then my faith in this government remains intangible.

Work from home has been less serious on my end, if I may say. We aren't needed as much as everyone else (YET! *knocks on wood*) as of this time-being and for some reason, it's driving me crazy. For context, y'all know that I always have the urge to compete-- I feel like I should always do things better than anyone else and/or emerge on top, however, I don't feel like being productive in the middle of the pandemic since my mind is already preoccupied with shitload of things. Awhile back, my manager commended me, saying it's good that I've been setting standards for myself. I don't know if I should believe her still because recently, these standards have been giving me anxiety attacks for fear that I might be underperforming and my work-related growth will be hindered. Again, this is on me and my constant need for recognition-induced validation. Yeah, fuck me alright, maybe I should take a chill pill.

With all these in my mind, maybe you're wondering, how do I cope?

For starters, I binge-watch everything that I can.

From vlogs to series, I skip from one title to another because having something to divert my feelings to eases me. Everytime I need a good laugh, I'd just pop Filthy Frank's or Team Payaman's channels on YouTube for quality comedic content that will surely leave your guts hurting. I'd also watch lifestyle vlogs and feel bad that I'm poor. Kidding! But I love watching designer hauls and shoe & bag collections. Also, I tune in to Good Times for my weekly dose of laughter, care of my favorite DJs from Magic. All thanks to their intellectual and humorous opinions regarding random, mundane topics, I am entertained just before dozing off. Time and again, I've proven that I'm a huge slacker when it comes to watching series but I've managed to watch all 5 seasons of Peaky Blinders! Its historic references is what probably got me but Tommy Shelby and Polly Gray's brilliant minds got me hooked. I've watched light binges as well such as Never Have I Ever and Too Hot to Handle just to maximize my money's worth on subscription. Ok, now, what do I watch next? Hmm.



I style.

Virtually, that is, since all I could do with my clothes now is to wash and fold them. Years ago, I would spend hours in Polyvore curating outfits that I wish to wear in occasions that I made up in my mind. Such a shame that the site shutdown last year and I had no idea! I wasn't able to backup my sets and now it's gone forever. 😞 Desperate, I looked for an alternative... and found Urstyle! And believe it or not, they were the owners of Polyvore! I couldn't be happier. Peep some of my sets below!




I pig out.

Ok, I think everyone's been pigging out because what is left for us to do? Lucky me, my mom has awesome cooking skills and she cooks everything I'd request! She'd gladly cook for me to the point that finally, I gained weight. Yes, you read that right! Although I've yet to confirm how heavy my gains are, I can tell that I finally fit in my clothes and I can hang my belts now! 😂



I write.

You know I would include this, it has to be here. Anyway, I brought my planner home and I would still write on it weekly as if my plans weren't affected by the pandemic. Aside from that, of course I've been drafting and blogging. No more explanations here because I did a lengthy one in my previous blog! Read if you're interested.

This is not what I would write on a daily basis. This is me pretending to write something while in a conference call.



I catch-up with my loved ones.

One of the few good things that this fiasco has brought us is our sudden need for connection. I heard a lot of you started talking to their exes, eh? Welp, I hope you don't get burned by the same flame twice. And as for me, your one-man woman, I've only reconnected with old cliques so far. Yeah, as if I have an ex to reconcile with. Anyway, a meet up has been set and I can't wait for it to happen soon! Errr, but right now, let's stick with our online parties since gatherings are still prohibited. Law-abiding citizens, baby!


Sometime this summer, I officially became a member of my boyf's fam's cousins only group chat HAHA



I shop.

Not gonna lie, retail therapy does soothe your nerves in a way. It's the chamomile tea for shopaholics whose hands are tingling! LMAO. Okay, just to clear things up, I am in no way an impulsive buyer. All those that I added to my cart are either within my budget or Ralph has offered to pay. HAHAHAHAAHA! But yeah, I hate to admit, but I love the feeling. Looking forward to have your order in your hands? The convenience of shopping everything and anything within your home? Having all the time in the world to decide which one to buy without a sales person judging you? Hallelujah! Thank God for online shopping.

Believe me, I needed all of this


I doll up.

I thought I was the only one but I came across this popular tweet where some people have agreed (with the tweet-er) that they feel a taste of normalcy by getting glammed up. I've been a bum since the start of this lockdown which means, I haven't dolled up in a really long time. Feeling myself from time to time sure does lift my spirits up for a bit... in fact, you should check my camera roll, I took a lot of selfies.

My new favorite selfie


As much as I love updating this thing and the unusual influx of creative juice, I'm still bummed that I am not in some villa by the beach up north having a good time with my work bestfriends. Yep, I have a supposed out of town trip to La Union and of course it didn't happen because of the pandemic.

Sigh. I can't wait for the day that this is all over.