Just get back up if it knocks you down

I don't know what I did to deserve this kind of life. I hate how everything seems to fall apart when I should be having the time of my life. I can't believe I'm saying this but... fuck my life. I don't know how much more I can take. I keep on inhaling hate when (I think) all I ever do is breathe out almost every love from my body.

Perhaps this is the reason why I pretend to be someone I'm not. People think that I'm the most euphoric person they ever met because of my sunny disposition, jokes, yadda yadda; little did they know that I'm a two-faced liar who can't even force to fake a smile when I'm at home. I hate it! And I hate how jealousy is eating me up. I want to do this, that, have this, that, but for some reasons, I can't. And most of the time, my parents are to blame. Fck! And I also hate how abhorrent I think they are. It just doesn't seem right.

Hoping I'll feel better soon.