J,

I'm pretty sure that right now, the Lord is testing me. Know why? `Cause I'm undergoing this instance which lies between the line of moving on and holding back -- and I'm confused. Hellaconfused, that is.  

If I continue to hold on, will you love me the same way? And if I move on, will you be sad that I'm gone?

Looks like the saddest  part is that you don't even know that I came up with these choices. What was I thinking? I know you never cared for me yet I've been fooling myself that you do. Sigh. I guess it's just all in my mind.

As I'm gearing towards the end of this letter, I am more convinced that I should really do the move. Ever since, I just let things flow. I know it made me happy, but sometimes it can be really unfair and it could even give me the darkest days. I think I'm losing.

If you're worth this pain then good, I wish I'll get through this somehow and we'll find our way back in the end. If not... then I'm so sorry that you don't have an awesome girl, like me, as your girlfriend. Ha-ha. Kidding... aside. LOL no, really

Thank you for everything and anything in between. I would never ever forget the words you spoke and the things you did. Hopefully in 2 months, I've finally gotten over this. But that's quite a long time, right? Unexpected things can happen. We'll see! Oh and... you'll always be the `illest` love of mine.

xx, J

P.S.: You know how to get me. B A S K E T B A L L.

P.P.S.: This letter is posted exactly a year after I posted this.